Whenever I fall asleep with a bad headache I have disturbing nightmares like this one.

For some reason (in my dream) I can’t remember why, but for some reason I was supposed to “off” both myself and my baby girl.  I know. Disturbing.  Like I said, I’m not entirely sure why I was supposed to do this but I’m gonna blame this twisted plot on too much Stephanie Meyer.  So, in my dream I ordered a bomb that was delivered in the mail, when it came all I had to do was add water and then hit it with a baseball bat to detonate it.  There I was, standing in my kitchen, with the box on the island, I added water, and then something happened.  Either I couldn’t do it or something changed and I didn’t have to.  At this point I was too scared to touch the box for fear it would blow up so I just left it there for Chris to deal with when he got home.  But I forgot to tell him about it it so it stayed there until we went to bed, and then woke up in a panic in the middle of the night because, there was a bomb in the kitchen!  And, like, Eva might wake up and find it.

This is when I woke up for real and had to remind myself that it was just a dream, an awful awful dream.

Any of you dream experts out there want to take a stab at this one?

Actually, I already have a few theories of my own but feel free to add yours.

1. I have an irrational fear that Eva will wake up in the middle of the night and peruse around the house and find something to hurt herself on.

2. Chris will find out about the clothes I ordered online when the box is delivered to our house, and when he sees it he will BLOW up like a bomb.

3. I’ve been watching too much Twilight and New Moon and the suicidile themes are creeping into my dreams.

Number 2 is actually pretty funny because Chris is so not the type to blow up about anything especially not me buying something.

On another note.

Happy Thanksgiving!

On another another note.

It’s black Friday in 4 more hours and I know you think I’m crazy but I’m heading out at midnight this year!  Ahhhh.  I’ll let you know if I’m still alive tomorrow.

Why do I always get sucked into black Friday???  Every year I say I am not going.  Then I look at the ads Thanksgiving day and I say “Look at all these great deals, I can do this!”  After waking up AT 4:30 a.m., showing up, realizing that everyone who said they would meet me is still sleeping in their warm bed, figuring out that everything I wanted in the add is already gone, picking up some other junk I never wanted in the first place, waiting in line for 2 hours to save spend a little bit of money, and after ALL this I promise myself “I am NOT doing this next year!”  Then, a year later the cycle starts all over again.

Tell me.  Will it ever stop?  Is there some kind of 12 step group for torturing yourself this way even if it is only once a year?

If I hear about any more killings it may motivate me to quit going out of self preservation.

In honor of Thanksgiving these are the things I am thankful for…
1. My daughter – The most incredible blessing in life. She is smart, loveable, sweet, and incredibly healthy. For that I thank God every day.
2. My husband – We’ve been together for 11 years and have been through a lot. He is the most dedicated, faithful man I know. He loves me and he loves our daughter beyond belief.
3. This land I live in. – I always have more than enough of everything I need. Water, Food, Clothes, Shelter.  I remember everyday that I am very lucky for this.
4. The right to the pursuit of happiness – I often take for granted that my husband and I have the opporutunity to go to school, work, and provide for our family. I know that a lot of families this year are struggling just to find a job and that makes me so sad.
5. A family that supports me no matter what. I can always depend on them.
6. God – Without Him I would have none of this.

Hope all my fellow Americans had a great holiday and that the rest of the world is also having a blessed day!