One parenting lesson I’m learning right  now and that so many others have learned before me is that weekends aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.  Now that my lil’ munchkin is growing into a healthfully defiant 2 1/2 year old, weekends tend to throw a wrench into our well oiled routine.  We wake up Saturday morning with the highest of hopes for a nice respite from the busyness of the week only to be pulled abruptly back down to reality.

The past couple of months Eva just cannot handle the change in routine a weekend brings.  She is so happy to have her Daddy home, and I am so happy to have her Daddy home so he can take care of her, and I can get a little bit of a brake but it just doesn’t work out that way.  Our toddler NEEDS routine and does not do well when it is disrupted.  This leaves me feeling resentful that my husband is home on a weekend?!  WTF?! 

As far as letting Daddy do the usual routine things like taking her to the potty, getting her dressed, brushing her hair.  She will have none of it.  Daddy is not for taking care of me!  He is for playing with me!!!

All of this disruption in her routine makes her a very grumpy little girl.  Crying and throwing a fit over every little thing.  Daddy tries to do something like say get her dressed, she will have none of it and start crying, mommy steps in to try and work some magic, she starts crying even harder “I want my Daddy!!!” 

This reminds me of how I used to be when I would come home from being at a friends house all weekend.  Now I know why my dad would tell me.  “If your going to be so grumpy when you get home I’m not letting you spend the day at a friends house anymore.”    I totally get it now Dad.  Just what you always wished for right?

Maybe the real lesson I’m learning (over and over again) is that life with kids is an ever changing process.  Nothing ever stays the same for long.  I used to look forward to weekends…now I look forward to Mondays.  Go figure.

photo credit: Chelsea Peterson (go check her out on flickr)

I once learned a communication technique for spouses that goes like this.

At the end of every day each spouse tells the other one:

-something good that happened to them that day

-something bad that happened to them that day

-something the other spouse did to make them mad

-I love you because ______________________

If something comes up in this very short discussion you can choose to explore that further or you could just leave it at that.  For us it usually turns into a bigger discussion, most of the time it is about good things.

Parenting toddlers can be such a challenge and often times cause fights between you and your spouse.  I know for me I thought we had this parenting thing all figured out and that we were on the same page with everything.  ObviouslyI was naive.  There are a lot of times where we disagree with what the other person is doing in regards to parenting.  I think this communication technique can be very effective if you use it to talk about your parenting experiences that day.  Especially through those really challenging stages in childhood.  I find that when I am having a rough day just talking it over with my dh makes me feel better.  Especially when we are able to communicate in a way that is respectful to eachother.

I haven’t done one of these in a while and the reason for that is well because I have been completely overwhelmed with this new stage DD is going through. I’m guessing it’s normal two year old behavior.  It’s funny because I have always been determined never to call it the “terrible twos” because it seems like such a negative term but man no matter how many times I have heard that term and I still wasn’t prepared for this. Anyway she has definitely been challenging me and leaving me feeling like the worlds most incompetent mom so I just haven’t really had the heart to come on here and tell you all how I have it all figured out. Sarcasm? Yes! I have never thought that I’ve had it all figured out but lately I have been feeling like a fish out of water. Like I have no idea what I’m doing.
Soooo…my tip of the day is….Have a sense of humor!!! When your last button has been pushed and you feel like your gonna snap find the HUMOR in the situation! I’m not advising that you break out hysterically laughing at your toddling two year old who has just figured out a way to climb on top of the refrigerator. But when she is refusing to brush her teeth for the umpteenth time and it is getting on your last nerve just try to find the humor in it. Having a good laugh with your child will likely lighten the situation and if nothing else you will turn that frown upside down.

There is this picture above my desk of DH and little E I just love looking at. To me it shows what a special relationship they have.  Of course I already loved him before E came along but seeing the way he is with our daughter has made me fall in love with him in a way I had never known before.

They have this special relationship.  Can you just see it in this picture?

The way her little hand is wrapped around his thumb.  The look of peace and content on her face.

I know I am in big trouble as she gets older, or actually he is in big trouble!  Honestly though nothing brings me greater joy than seeing those two together.  Even when she prefers him over me or runs to him crying in her dramatic way when I have dared tell her no.  Still I just stop and smile at the love they have for each other.  He is completely taken with her and her with him.

I hope that she always knows the love of her father in this way.  And that she measures all other relatioships by if they treat her half as good as her father does.  If she does I can tell you any boy who wants to date her will have some big shoes to fill!

My daughter put me in time out today.  Is that part of social emotional development???  Anyways, we were just playing but here are some reasons why I probably should be in time out…

• I haven’t vacuumed her bedroom in at least 3 weeks
• The laundry is badly overflowing
• I didn’t go to the gym yesterday
• Instead of going to the gym I made brownies and watched Lost
• I had the T.V. on almost all day on Tuesday watching the inauguration and was basically a bum not leaving the house all day
• Spent entirely too much time on the computer

I’m sure there’s more but that’s all I can think of right now.  However I can think of a few good things I ‘v done this week

• Made a healthy dinner every night for my family
• Kept the kitchen clean (at least one area of the house isn’t a mess)
• Took dd to an awesome park yesterday (to make up for Tuesday)