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This concept of trusting a perfect stranger to watch my daughter even if just for an hour is one I am really struggling with.
There are two areas were we run into this, at church and at the gym.
Both are things that I really want and need to do to nurture myself. I believe that to be spiritually and physically balanced are very important to being a good mother.
I just can’t get over the fact that when I walk into both of these places these people who I know nothing about are going to be watching my daughter. It doesn’t help that Eva screams and hangs onto me for dear life when I leave her. In both places the general belief of the workers is that if I just leave she will be fine in 1 minute. However it is my belief that you don’t leave a child that is clinging to you.
My last day at work was today. My husband and I decided four weeks ago that it would be best for me to stay home with our 19 month old daughter. I hate the term “stay at home mom” but that seems to be the most popular thing to say and I can’t think of a different term to use. So for now I guess I am a “sahm”.
Before I became a mom I always thought that I would work and that I would never have a problem taking my kids to daycare. Well, then reality hit. What I have learned since becoming a mom is that no one will handle my daughter the way I want to. From discipline, to diet, to what kind of cups she drinks out of. Also, you really cannot ever get this time back. I was working on her babybook the other night and looking at her pictures and was in tears that I can never get that time back with her and don’t even remember that much of it. I am positive that I will never look back on my time home with her and say “I wish I hadn’t spent that time with her.”
Now, I want to make sure you kow that I in no way judge mother’s who work. This is a very personal decision that everyone has to make for their own family. At this time this is what is best for us and I feel so blessed that I even have the opportunity.
I worked at this job for over three years and learned so many invaluable things about being a parent and raising kids. That is another part that is really exciting, now I get to actual DO the things that I am talking to other parents about every day. I loved helping other people become better parents but now it is time for me to give that to my daughter.
