Play the Fool.
We could all learn a little something from Elmo’s friend Mr. Noodle. He is an adult who needs a lot of help from little kids to figure out how to do everyday things. This helplessness gives kids confidence because they feel really smart when they know more than an adult! For example, when trying to wash his hands he would do something like put his elbows in, then splash water on his face, or put his foot in the sink. Every time he does it wrong the little kids tell him the right way to do it until he finally gets it.
Find little ways to do this with your child everyday. Like forget how to put his shirt on in the morning. Or how to brush your/her teeth. How about what kind of utensil she needs to eat her cereal with? I’m sure there are a million things you can think of to “play the fool”.
*By the way this idea came from the Dr. Harvey Karp book The Happiest Toddler on the Block
I once learned a communication technique for spouses that goes like this.
At the end of every day each spouse tells the other one:
-something good that happened to them that day
-something bad that happened to them that day
-something the other spouse did to make them mad
-I love you because ______________________
If something comes up in this very short discussion you can choose to explore that further or you could just leave it at that. For us it usually turns into a bigger discussion, most of the time it is about good things.
Parenting toddlers can be such a challenge and often times cause fights between you and your spouse. I know for me I thought we had this parenting thing all figured out and that we were on the same page with everything. ObviouslyI was naive. There are a lot of times where we disagree with what the other person is doing in regards to parenting. I think this communication technique can be very effective if you use it to talk about your parenting experiences that day. Especially through those really challenging stages in childhood. I find that when I am having a rough day just talking it over with my dh makes me feel better. Especially when we are able to communicate in a way that is respectful to eachother.
I haven’t done one of these in a while and the reason for that is well because I have been completely overwhelmed with this new stage DD is going through. I’m guessing it’s normal two year old behavior. It’s funny because I have always been determined never to call it the “terrible twos” because it seems like such a negative term but man no matter how many times I have heard that term and I still wasn’t prepared for this. Anyway she has definitely been challenging me and leaving me feeling like the worlds most incompetent mom so I just haven’t really had the heart to come on here and tell you all how I have it all figured out. Sarcasm? Yes! I have never thought that I’ve had it all figured out but lately I have been feeling like a fish out of water. Like I have no idea what I’m doing.
Soooo…my tip of the day is….Have a sense of humor!!! When your last button has been pushed and you feel like your gonna snap find the HUMOR in the situation! I’m not advising that you break out hysterically laughing at your toddling two year old who has just figured out a way to climb on top of the refrigerator. But when she is refusing to brush her teeth for the umpteenth time and it is getting on your last nerve just try to find the humor in it. Having a good laugh with your child will likely lighten the situation and if nothing else you will turn that frown upside down.
She technically wasn’t born until 4:50 p.m. but close enough right? Last year was such a whirlwind of activity that I didn’t have a lot of time to get sentimental about it but this year I can’t stop getting all mushy and teary eyed. I am trying not to dwell on the sadness that is connected with this day. Even though it is the day the world was blessed by her presence it was also the day her first mother followed through with her heart wrenching decision to relinquish her. I have so many questions for this woman I have never met. I only have a picture of her and I can see her everyday when I look at Eva. Imagine if I am having all of these emotions what is it going to be like for Eva? I don’t want every single one of her birthdays to also come with a little bit of sadness.
Two days after Eva was born I sat at my dying Grandmother’s bedside asking her to put in a good word for me with God. We had been waiting for a little girl. Little did I know she had already been born. Thank you Grandma. I miss you.
The 8 month old baby that came home to me is all but gone. She eats normal food, feeds herself with a fork and spoon, drinks out of a normal cup, can turn off and on lights, opens doors, can undress herself, communicates her needs, tells me what she wants to watch on t.v., runs, jumps, climbs, occasionally uses the “big girl potty.”
She’s growing up so fast. I was writing down the things that she loves in her journal the other day and basically broke down crying thinking about the fact that the time until she is old enough to read it will come quicker then I could ever imagine. While I was sitting there on her bedroom floor watching her pretend to feed her dolly, her whole childhood flashed before my eyes and suddenly I was looking at a 16 year old girl. It was, well, terrifying.
Enough gooey mushiness. Here are some pictures.
At two weeks old
With daddy before her birthday party
Striking a pose
Best part of a birthday
The only picture with mommy of course.
Have you ever said a phrase your whole life without ever thinking about what it REALLY means. This will probably sound odd but it just hit me today what the phrase “in it for the long run” really means. I was driving in my car thinking about how this health journey I’ve been on for the past year is kind of like running a marathon (even though I’ve never actually run a marathon). But anyways I was thinking about how running a marathon is about endurance. It’s not about running as fast as you can it’s about pacing yourself so that you can stay in the race and actually finish your goal. And then it hit me ohhhh, that’s what “in it for the long run” means. It is an actual run and not some obscure concept that has been twisted and stretched so that now the phrase “long run” is said without any real thought of running a long distance.
That’s how my health is for me. It’s not about losing weight as fast as I can so I can fit into that pair of skinny jeans. It is about modifying my LIFE so that I can remain healthy for the REST of my life. For the LONG RUN.
It’s also how I feel about a lot of other things in my life. I’m “in it for the long run” with my marriage. I’m not about just sticking around for the good times and then bolting when things get rough or when “that loving feeling” isn’t there as strong as it used to be. I know that if I stick through the hard times things will get better, and then worse again, and then better again. And when we finish that race together it will be the best feeling in the world. Knowing that we stuck it out and that the rewards were miraculous.
I’m “in it for the long run” as a mom. Even when I don’t know what I’m doing and my daughter has pushed every single button I have, I stick it out and try to pace myself so I don’t lose it. Knowing that at the end of the day I’ll get that hug and kiss that just melts my heart. Then, when I don’t even get that I know that the next day will bring many rewards in the midst of all the trials. Ultimately even if being a mother had NO rewards (which is impossible) being able to finish the race and still be standing at the end is reward enough.
LIFE is the “long run” Sometimes it feels like I’m jogging along the beach, and sometimes it feels like I’m running uphill against the wind. But either way I’m running it and I’m never giving up.
photocredit: flickr
