As parents we always hear how important positive reinforcement is when disciplining your child.  Instead of just punishing your toddler for wacking the dog, praise her when you catch her petting the puppy nicely. I’m sure you have all heard this over and over again.

Well, recently, I’ve discovered that this works for me as well.  I tend to beat myself up over every mistake I make as a parent and think “Alright now I’ve gone and screwed her up for good.”

Last week I started trying this positive reinforcement thing out on myself.  I have been ending every day with thinking of three things I did RIGHT that day concerning Eva.  It has seriously made a huge difference in my interactions with her.  Not only do I feel better about myself and my ability to raise a little human being but throughout the day I think about how I am going to have to answer to myself and I make better choices because of it.

Positive reinforcement has made me a better mom.

This picture is from our Duck feeding session this week.  Did you know that you can feed hard boiled eggs to ducks?  According to my duck-friendly sister it is better for them than bread.

Also, did you know that peeling hard boiled eggs is a great fine motor activity for toddlers?  I discovered that one for myself.  Now, if I could just figure out how to get her to eat one.

I hope you are all enjoying your Spring as much as we are!

I can hardly believe that it has been about 6 weeks since I have posted something on here. The truth is I’ve been busy. With school, with home improvement projects, with life. I’ve also been avoiding you. The thought of writing just doesn’t appeal to me as much as it did before. I blame it on being back in school. But I ventured over here today and read through some old posts and realized that I miss you. I miss writing to the invisible universe. Eva turned 3 years old one month ago tomorrow. Here is a letter I wrote to her that I wanted to share with you.

Dear Evangeline,

Yesterday you turned three. We celebrated by taking you to lunch at Rainforest cafe and when we got there you screamed “My Animals!” and gave me a big smile and huge hug with the look of pure happiness on your face the way only you can. When you wrap your little arms around my neck and squeeze until you cut off my air supply, I am the happiest I have ever been.
When Daddy and I got home from school late last night we set up your new “big girl” bed in your room. It’s true that the transition from babyhood to toddlerhood is slow and gradual but yesterday you blossomed into a full grown 3 year old right before my very eyes. I can carry on a conversation with you like we are the oldest of friends. And really you are my best friend and I feel so blessed to be able to spend as much time with you as I do. I love being your “person” who knows every little thing about you.
I am so grateful to be able to spend every day with you but I realize the time is coming that you will need to break away from me and venture out into the world. You will go to preschool soon where you will play with little boys and girls your age and learn from your teachers who will teach you wonderful things about the world. And I will always be here for you to come home to.

Jen over at Praying for Aviana had a great post today about the importance of putting your baby on their tummy because, well, it’s just natural. Stop over at her place and give it a read.
While your there get to know her amazing daughter Avianna and their super strong and super beautiful family.

A friend of mine came over for lunch this week and while we were reminiscing over Eva’s baby book she asked me a very simple question “Do you miss having a baby around?” It seems like a simple question but I was dumbstruck. My mind told me that I was supposed to say “Yes YES I want her to be a baby again!” but my heart said “No…NO…I love this age!” And I do I really do. Whatever age it is that she is currently at, that is the age I love. Every day she is one day older and I tell you every day she is a different child. That is my FAVORITE thing about being a mom. Seeing her grow up day by day.
One day…when she is “too old” to sit on my lap with her blanky and cuddle after her nap…then I might miss when she was a baby. But perhaps I will be so in love with her pre-teen self that I won’t want her to be any other age. (Before I had a daughter I would have told you that was impossible but now I’m not so sure.)
So my very long answer to a very simple question is “No, I do not miss Evangeline being a baby.”
This week my almost 3 year old mastered the art of cutting paper, being completely independent in the bathroom, making up a story in a picture book, and doing the hokey poky. I ask you how can life get any better then that?

One parenting lesson I’m learning right  now and that so many others have learned before me is that weekends aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.  Now that my lil’ munchkin is growing into a healthfully defiant 2 1/2 year old, weekends tend to throw a wrench into our well oiled routine.  We wake up Saturday morning with the highest of hopes for a nice respite from the busyness of the week only to be pulled abruptly back down to reality.

The past couple of months Eva just cannot handle the change in routine a weekend brings.  She is so happy to have her Daddy home, and I am so happy to have her Daddy home so he can take care of her, and I can get a little bit of a brake but it just doesn’t work out that way.  Our toddler NEEDS routine and does not do well when it is disrupted.  This leaves me feeling resentful that my husband is home on a weekend?!  WTF?! 

As far as letting Daddy do the usual routine things like taking her to the potty, getting her dressed, brushing her hair.  She will have none of it.  Daddy is not for taking care of me!  He is for playing with me!!!

All of this disruption in her routine makes her a very grumpy little girl.  Crying and throwing a fit over every little thing.  Daddy tries to do something like say get her dressed, she will have none of it and start crying, mommy steps in to try and work some magic, she starts crying even harder “I want my Daddy!!!” 

This reminds me of how I used to be when I would come home from being at a friends house all weekend.  Now I know why my dad would tell me.  “If your going to be so grumpy when you get home I’m not letting you spend the day at a friends house anymore.”    I totally get it now Dad.  Just what you always wished for right?

Maybe the real lesson I’m learning (over and over again) is that life with kids is an ever changing process.  Nothing ever stays the same for long.  I used to look forward to weekends…now I look forward to Mondays.  Go figure.

photo credit: Chelsea Peterson (go check her out on flickr)