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We have been on our debt diet for almost 5 months now.  I really can’t believe we’ve made it this far.  It’s been a very difficult road and I’m a little embarrassed even to admit how difficult.  I thought it would be hard at first but then would get easier as we got used to it…but no.  It is really a daily struggle not to spend money.  Everyday I wake up in the morning I have to fight the urge to go shopping or take Eva to lunch, or something else that would require money.  Money is a lot like food.  You can be addicted to spending it, and you can fight that addiction but you can never cut it out of your life completely because you need it to live.  Unless your like this guy then that’s a whole different story.

These past 5 months I’ve learned a lot of things about myself and about money in general but I’ve really been thinking a lot lately about the 3 different reasons for spending money.

1. Needs – things like food, shelter, electricity, fuel.  There are really very few things that we actually need.

2. Wants – clothes, furniture, pedicures, getting my hair done.  Every time I want to buy something I ask myself “Is this a want or a need?”  It is always a want.  After the weekly trip to the grocery store, I have everything I need.  The hardest things not to buy are clothes for me, clothes for Eva, toys and books for Eva, and books for me.  However I REALLY struggle with the whole want vs. need thing when it comes to things like new furniture for Eva’s room.  I HATE the furniture in her room which we bought from craigslist when she was a baby to save money so that we could buy her something nice when she got older.  Well now she is older and I am so ready to get her the something nice.  We went to Ikea the other day to scope out some things, that was a BIG MISTAKE.  We found a daybed there with two overhead cabinets that would go PERFECT in her playroom.  Now it is taking everything in me not to just hop in the car and go get it, and it’s not even for her bedroom!  I have gotten my hair done once since we started this and I had to sell our fire pit to do it.  It’s been 8 weeks since then and just starting to get to the point where it needs to be done again.  I’ll probably wait another month or two and then see what else I can sell around the house.

3. Convenience – This sort of fits in with both of the two previous categories.  There are many things of convenience that we could argue are a need but really would just make our life easier.  Such as going to the car wash, or eating out.  It is a huge challenge everyday to wake up and try to figure out what I’m going to do with Eva that day to keep her entertained.  Since she doesn’t have anyone to play with (besides me) I always feel like I need to take her somewhere fun at least a few times a week.  Also, I’m the kind of person that needs to get out of the house or I’ll go crazy.  It would make my life so much easier if I could just take her out to lunch a couple of times a week or to the children’s museum or someplace like that.  But those things all cost money.  We are both dreadfully sick of the free places we’ve been going all summer like the library and the community pool.

Why am I putting myself through such torture you might ask?  The progress we’ve made does make it all worth it.  So far we’ve paid $12,344 towards our credit cards ($6,000 of that was from our tax return) and we still owe $9,600.  I write down those numbers not for you but for me.  So I can see how ridiculously in credit card debt we let ourselves become.  Imagine what we could be doing with this money right now if we weren’t paying off our stupid cards with it!?  To help us get it paid off a little sooner Chris took out $1000 from a 401k he had at a previous job.  That will make it so we will have one more card paid off by November, then we can just focus on Christmas, and start up again on the last two cards totaling $4,600 after the holidays.  When I think about all of the sacrifices we are having to make just to pay off all these cards it makes me sick.

Can you believe how optimistic I was when this first started?

http://www.modernmommyblog.com/index.php/2009/03/25/my-debt-diet/

I don’t know where I was getting my math from in our 1 month post.??

http://www.modernmommyblog.com/index.php/2009/04/27/we-made-it-1-month/

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    8 comments
  • Theta Mom says...

    Debt is so annoying…but hang in there, you’re doing the right thing! You are making sacrifices now, but it will “pay off” in the end.

  • wendy says...

    that’s one great effort on your part. if i could do what you are doing now, we would be wealthy! hahaha. i admire you.

  • LeftLeaningLady says...

    You are doing such a wonderful thing for your family. It will be worth it and it will not be forever. I have heard of people with much more debt and it took them YEARS.

    Keep up the good work!

  • Gentry says...

    I swear I stopped spending so much when we had more than one kid. Its just such a PITA to take them out that the idea of going out to eat is just nothing even appealing any longer. I struggled with spending a lot more when we just had William.

    Having said that, you are right it is very very hard. If possible ask for things for Christmas and b-days like memberships to zoo/aquarium/museums if you can. That way you can go all year.

    Another thought is to join a mom’s group or start one if you are a sociable mom. I love belonging to one and mine is made up of a lot of frugal ladies so we share all sorts of tips on free or low cost things to do. They hear of things and share I wouldn’t otherwise know about.

    Hang in there though, you are doing fantastic!

  • Donna K says...

    You are doind great! Keep up the good work. Do you listen to Dave Ramsey? He talks about getting out of debt on the radio.

  • Heidi says...

    You sold your fire pit to get your hair done? Oh no, Jill!

    When you don’t spend money freely, buying even a new bar of deodorant is thrilling. I remember when I lived alone (pre-Joe) in my little beach bungalow without air conditioning, I cut my own hair, grocery shopped sparingly, lived without TV or Internet and spent weekends at the FREE beach. When I did do something that required money, I felt so pampered. It’s unbelievable, really. It’s like starving yourself so food tastes better.

    I think you’re doing an excellent job. Better than most. Hell, I’m spending money left and right on this wedding, so I’m in no position to talk. Actually, I was quite in awe of this post, especially when you said you sold your fire pit to get your hair done. :)

  • Cascia @ Healthy Moms says...

    Wow! I am impressed. Everyone should learn from what you are doing. I wish I was disciplined enough to do something similar. We still have medical bills from when our 3 year old and 2 year old were born. My husband also has about $20,000 in credit card debt. It is completely under his name so he needs to take care of it. Maybe I should send him this article. Good for you to be smart enough to figure out what is a want and what is a need. I need to be more careful about my spending as well.

  • Jill says...

    Thanks to everyone for your kind words. It helps to vent and to share with others. I love to think that I might be helping someone else become debt free as well. :-)
    Yes Heidi I had to sell my fire pit. Sob sob. Actually we never used it and had too much furniture in our backyard so it was a win win.

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