I was so fortunate to have been visiting with my cousin a couple of weeks ago where we had an interesting conversation over lunch (in the Magic Kingdom of course).  We were discussing the challenges of raising kids and what you can do to look at things from a different perspective.  I was telling her how when I am really frustrated I try to apply something I learned in yoga of removing my dislike from an unpleasant situation.   She had a much more eloquent phrase for it “What you resist persists”.  YES.  That is exactly what I was trying to say.  If you are pushing against something like “Ahhh why are you whining when you could just ask me in a perfectly normal voice for whatever it is you want!”  It will just make the whining worse and possibly, well most likely, result in a full blown crying fit.  However, if you tell yourself that the whining doesn’t really bother you and go about your day full of happiness and love you could either ignore the whining until your child finally just asks you for that cup of water or you can sweetly ever so sweetly, (because you are not irritated at all remember?), suggest to your child that they ask you in a normal voice “Mommy can I have a glass of water please?”

My then very wise loving mother of a cousin said that she always tells herself in a situation such as the one above “What would be the alternative to this?”  As in if my child were not whining annoyingly or throwing an evil tantrum what would that mean?  That my child would cease to exist?  Which scenario would I rather have.  By a billion times over I would choose the whining, tantruming toddler then to have no Evangeline at all. 

Today I am reminded that too many parents have faced that devastating scenario.  Who am I to be frustrated with my sweet sweet girl who just needs a little patience sometimes?

If you are in need of some of this perspective please read this mothers blog who is, at this very moment, sitting beside her toddlers hospital bed after a tragic car accident.

I am a saver and a procrastinator with ADD.  You know what that means for my inbox?  It means that I have 1200 messages in Outlook.  Yep 1200.  One two double zero. 

When I saw this number last night I screamed at myself…”How did I get here!?” 

This is how.  Every morning I have about 30 new emails most of which are junk.  My procrastination means that I only click on 1 or 2 interesting ones and leave the rest for later.  My ADD is the reason that it takes me all morning to respond or do whatever it is I need to do with those 2 emails.  But it is the saver/hoarder in me that is why those 2 emails along with the 30 others never get deleted.  This goes on day after day until now I have 1200 mostly useless emails just rotting away in my inbox. 

BUT, if I ever want to go back and read about the free financial seminar that was offered at my bank 2 years ago it’s there.  Or the cartoon of Garfield drinking a cup of coffee in his pajamas that’s there too.  What if I need to reread the email my sister sent out 3 years ago planning our annual tamale making day?  How about who was going to be on the Oprah show the week of 4/16/2008.  It’s there….somewhere.

I don’t even want to think about how high that pile would be if this was actual mail. 

(If you’re like me you can probably benefit from xobni which my husband made me download last night and is a HUGE help.)

I came across this story today and it caught me attention.  “Risk of child abuse rises when potty training.” When I was working with at risk families this was one subject that we always stressed to parents.   Please Please Please have realistic expectations when potty training.  Otherwise it can get ugly quickly.

Sorry that’s it for today…gotta get back to watching the Michael Jackson Memorial and a very very tired toddler who was up at 5:30 a.m.

For some Random Tuesday Genius head over to TheUnMom

You are your child's first and most important teacher.  Never underestimate the impact you have on your child.  He/She looks up to you more than anyone else and models your behavior.  He also looks to you for your approval.  When she can look in your eyes and see that you believe in her it gives her the confidence to move forward and venture out on her own.  So don’t ever doubt for a second how important you are!

Links:

http://www.parentsasteachers.org

http://nextgenparenting.com/blog/?p=658

http://betterkidcare.psu.edu/TIPS/TIPS303.pdf

http://www.parenthood.com/index.php

http://www.nationalcac.org/families/early_learning/parents/