One parenting lesson I’m learning right now and that so many others have learned before me is that weekends aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be. Now that my lil’ munchkin is growing into a healthfully defiant 2 1/2 year old, weekends tend to throw a wrench into our well oiled routine. We wake up Saturday morning with the highest of hopes for a nice respite from the busyness of the week only to be pulled abruptly back down to reality.
The past couple of months Eva just cannot handle the change in routine a weekend brings. She is so happy to have her Daddy home, and I am so happy to have her Daddy home so he can take care of her, and I can get a little bit of a brake but it just doesn’t work out that way. Our toddler NEEDS routine and does not do well when it is disrupted. This leaves me feeling resentful that my husband is home on a weekend?! WTF?!
As far as letting Daddy do the usual routine things like taking her to the potty, getting her dressed, brushing her hair. She will have none of it. Daddy is not for taking care of me! He is for playing with me!!!
All of this disruption in her routine makes her a very grumpy little girl. Crying and throwing a fit over every little thing. Daddy tries to do something like say get her dressed, she will have none of it and start crying, mommy steps in to try and work some magic, she starts crying even harder “I want my Daddy!!!”
This reminds me of how I used to be when I would come home from being at a friends house all weekend. Now I know why my dad would tell me. “If your going to be so grumpy when you get home I’m not letting you spend the day at a friends house anymore.” I totally get it now Dad. Just what you always wished for right?
Maybe the real lesson I’m learning (over and over again) is that life with kids is an ever changing process. Nothing ever stays the same for long. I used to look forward to weekends…now I look forward to Mondays. Go figure.
photo credit: Chelsea Peterson (go check her out on flickr)
Mom says...
I remember being the same way when I was a kid. Routine made me feel safe. I was also a strong willed child and still am. (giggle) Stick to you guns for the things that matter most, figure out a way to show Eva she is loved and safe and not the boss. Good luck!
I do remember the memories you described but not until you mentioned it. Some people say they would love to go back in time a be a child again. They must have been adorable, happy content children and not normal at all.
Your dad has volunteered to take Eva for a week-end. LOL
July 27th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Jill says...
“figure out a way to show Eva she is loved and safe and not the boss” Loved – check, Safe – check check, Not the boss – not so much, any pointers?
“Your dad has volunteered to take Eva for a week-end” Seriously????!!!!
July 27th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Keith Wilcox says...
I can completely sympathize with you. When my wife is home I feel like I can’t get anything done and my homeschooling gets thrown entirely off track.
July 27th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Mom says...
Like you would let us have her for an entire week-end!!!!???? But is you can, we will.
July 27th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Jill says...
Ahhh, glad I’m not the only one.
July 27th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
kaydee says...
I think there are periods of time as our babes mature when they need the security of that routine. By providing that security now, you’ll be forging a type of security later–perhaps helping her to have less anxiety as she gets older. But remember, you need a break too…why not try a sitter for an evening and get some time away for just you and your husband? Another idea–leave her with him and get some exercise time away…It can only help!
July 28th, 2009 at 6:31 am
Gentry says...
Great blog by the way! I’m a newbie. Ohhh weekends. I hear you! Its not as much routine for me (we have three kids and I think you loose your ability to have much routine the more kids that come into the pic and you juggle), but it is that I still have this crazy expectation that the weekends are going to provide some relaxation and allow me to recharge.
We have a baby and a toddler (as well as a six year old) so the weekends are more of a time for us to rush rush rush now trying to get the groceries, errands I can run kid free, and house cleaning I can do while my hubby watched the kids. I refuse to take three kids to the grocery–I just come back in a foul mood and its not good for any of us.
So my verbose way of saying this is once you have kids weekends take a whole new meaning. When you have one kid its the routine and disruption. You add more kids and routines go out the door and you learn to survive that, but then you are frantically trying to get things done kid free (when I had one kid I could do the grocery, etc.). Now I keep telling myself the eventually they will get older and this will get easier because no one will have to “constantly supervise” a baby/toddler…and my hubby can cut the grass while I clean a bathroom BUT my friends of kids who are older like to throw a monkey wrench in my plans. They remind me that once they get older I’ll be shuffling them around from dance recital to soccer game on the weekends…18 more years to go! Sigh… Why doesn’t anyone tell you how hard this parenting thing is before you sign up???:-)
August 7th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Jill says...
Gentry, I won’t even take ONE to the grocery store! It’s funny how something like the grocery store can become like a little vacation for me now.
I can’t even imagine how you would do anything with 3. I am stressing out about the possibility of two!
August 7th, 2009 at 12:05 pm