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I was so fortunate to have been visiting with my cousin a couple of weeks ago where we had an interesting conversation over lunch (in the Magic Kingdom of course).  We were discussing the challenges of raising kids and what you can do to look at things from a different perspective.  I was telling her how when I am really frustrated I try to apply something I learned in yoga of removing my dislike from an unpleasant situation.   She had a much more eloquent phrase for it “What you resist persists”.  YES.  That is exactly what I was trying to say.  If you are pushing against something like “Ahhh why are you whining when you could just ask me in a perfectly normal voice for whatever it is you want!”  It will just make the whining worse and possibly, well most likely, result in a full blown crying fit.  However, if you tell yourself that the whining doesn’t really bother you and go about your day full of happiness and love you could either ignore the whining until your child finally just asks you for that cup of water or you can sweetly ever so sweetly, (because you are not irritated at all remember?), suggest to your child that they ask you in a normal voice “Mommy can I have a glass of water please?”

My then very wise loving mother of a cousin said that she always tells herself in a situation such as the one above “What would be the alternative to this?”  As in if my child were not whining annoyingly or throwing an evil tantrum what would that mean?  That my child would cease to exist?  Which scenario would I rather have.  By a billion times over I would choose the whining, tantruming toddler then to have no Evangeline at all. 

Today I am reminded that too many parents have faced that devastating scenario.  Who am I to be frustrated with my sweet sweet girl who just needs a little patience sometimes?

If you are in need of some of this perspective please read this mothers blog who is, at this very moment, sitting beside her toddlers hospital bed after a tragic car accident.

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  • Heidi says...

    I’m reading about that little girl you linked to in the above blog. Ohhhh no. I will pray for her in my own non-religious way. Poor thing.

    What you resist persists …

    I absolutely agree with you. Yoga is helping me put things into perspective as well. I’ve noticed that it’s helping me think more positively in general. There’s something to be said for rolling with the punches.

    I love picturing you and your cousin having this conversation over lunch at the Magic Kingdom. :)

  • Mom says...

    Very good Jill. Faith has gained many wonderful insights through the classes she has taken. The beauty is in the way she applies her insights and shares it with others. I pray for all children especially those who are hurt and sick. This is a hard world sometimes.

  • wendy says...

    thanks for this post. my son loooves to whine these days, the whining is getting into me and my husband. sometimes we’re thinking, maybe he knows that he’ll be sharing our attention with his soon-to-be baby brother.

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