Jill,
You never know what is around the corner. Think of some of the blackest times in our history. When you are looking in the rear view mirror I hope you can see that you are a persistant survior who gained some insights along the way. This part of our lifes journey. I know God is control.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)NAS
I know it is about facts and the way things look right now but they will not always be this way. Read some history books.
We will reach out to our family, friends and neighbors; they are hurting too. We will get through this together. I know people who have lost so much and they are still smiling! I hope and pray I can do that too.

March 6th, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Jill,
Wow, you ask the tough ones, don’t you?

I can’t understand what you are going through, although one of the men I work with bought a house about a year ago. He cashed out his Canadian retirement (working to become a US Citizen) to pay down his mortgage, trying to get rid of the PMI and he is still upside down.

These are tough times, but I do think you would regret just walking away. You want more children, you want them to be raised in a ‘home’ not just a house and foreclosure will make it close to impossible to buy another one for years.

Maybe you could look at enlarging the home you are in?

It is a good thing that you are counting your blessings. My husband has been out of work since Sept, but we are soooo much luckier than most, since he has his retirement and we don’t carry a lot of debt.

I guess my advice is to just try to make the best of it!

March 9th, 2009 at 6:29 am

We are also in a small house and about to try again with selling it, We are on our third agent and I have interviewed A TON. We have been in our house for six years, have two kids and a small house. I hope we can sell so we can get into a larger house, but it is sad thinking it would be an investment to buy a house and it wasn’t.

I hear you.

March 9th, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Jill,

LeftLeaningLady is right. I think you would regret walking away. You’re sort of saddled with this thing right now. But since I’m no expert on debt management, I’ll offer you remedies for claustrophobia instead:

You live in a good climate – another one of your many blessings. Take advantage of it by going outside with your daughter. Take a day trip once a week to a place you’ve never been. Do something that requires little to no money.

Read a good story online or in a book. Better yet, read it in a NEWSPAPER! And read it outside, in the backyard, in a comfy wicker chair.

If you do not own a wicker chair, purchase one. I just got one at Target for $99. It’s divine.

Read positive stories about the economy to stay upbeat until the real estate market recovers. When you slip into woe-is-me territory, read sob stories about foreclosure, divorce and natural disasters to keep your thoughts in perspective, because nothing says, “chin up” like wallowing in someone else’s heartbreak.

To avoid weeping, read more positive stories than negatives ones.

Rent Beetle Juice. I promise you’ll feel better after watching this movie.

Think about the pioneers who journeyed across the country by horse and buggy, freezing in pursuit of the wild west! Those women faired OK in cramped settings, and they had like litters of babies.

In my opinion, the best times I’ve EVER had were in tiny houses and tiny apartments. My favorite memories were made in little spaces. Seriously. I’ve always loved how people make the most of what they’ve got by running with the best of what they’ve got. A friend of mine once lived in a studio apartment the size of some people’s bathrooms. The only place she had to store her books was on a little ledge that ran along her ceiling. I remember thinking every time I walked into her apartment, “man that book-lined ceiling rocks! Like a functional wallpaper border!

Ride it out, Jill! Blog about it too. Posts like this – the ones in which you appear vulnerable or frazzled – are often the most therapeutic ones.

PS. An inspirational link from dominomag.com:
http://www.dominomag.com/galleries/2008/04/rashida_jones

PPS. I’m resubmitting this comment because I think it lost in cyber purgatory the first time I sent it, even though I know your comment moderation doodad is enabled.

March 9th, 2009 at 7:50 pm

Real estate is always a long term investment. The past few years, the real estate market has been distorted. A quick turnaround is not how real estate works.

If you put the money into stocks and you lost it, it would be the same. Don’t cry over spilt milk. At least with real estate, you have a house of your own, not a piece of stock certificate that is worth nothing.

Bigger is not always better. I grew up in a 1100 sf house with my 3 siblings, and at one point, our cousin lived with us for 3 years. There were 7 of us. As a kid, I never knew or cared if we had a big house. I had great memories of my childhood. The most important thing to kids is a loving family, and that is priceless. And that is totally up to you to control. If you are happy and content, that will teach your kids more than if you had a big house that will only teach them that material things can make them happy.

March 21st, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Thank you for the perspective. Your very right that growing up in a good family is the most important thing for my daughter much more important than a big house or lot’s of “things.”

March 21st, 2009 at 3:25 pm

I’m in the same boat as you. I bought a starter home 5 years ago or a townhouse to get technical. I paid $111,700 for it. My realtor just told me today that the appraiser valued it at $55,000, which is less than half of what I paid. I’m trying to do a short sale and Chase said basically that they would be willing to accept less than that (i.e. the $40,000’s, which is almost a third of what I paid). I’ve had it on the market for a year now, and I’ve thought about walking away more times than I can count, as I’m just sick of it all. The idea that no one wants to buy it for half of what I paid or, just as bad, that they do and they want to be petty about what’s included in that price (the ones who put in an offer want me to give them my shower curtains, for crying out loud, and give them $4000 in cash at closing, which is above and beyond their closing costs) just makes me furious. What makes me even madder is that a few years from now, if the economy has recovered, they’ll be able to sell it for what I paid for it and then some. Meanwhile, they’ll only have to pay a small fraction of what I’m paying now…Anyway, I totally feel your pain. I’m sure that there are many others out there who do as well.

March 24th, 2009 at 6:13 pm