She technically wasn’t born until 4:50 p.m. but close enough right? Last year was such a whirlwind of activity that I didn’t have a lot of time to get sentimental about it but this year I can’t stop getting all mushy and teary eyed. I am trying not to dwell on the sadness that is connected with this day. Even though it is the day the world was blessed by her presence it was also the day her first mother followed through with her heart wrenching decision to relinquish her. I have so many questions for this woman I have never met. I only have a picture of her and I can see her everyday when I look at Eva. Imagine if I am having all of these emotions what is it going to be like for Eva? I don’t want every single one of her birthdays to also come with a little bit of sadness.
Two days after Eva was born I sat at my dying Grandmother’s bedside asking her to put in a good word for me with God. We had been waiting for a little girl. Little did I know she had already been born. Thank you Grandma. I miss you.
The 8 month old baby that came home to me is all but gone. She eats normal food, feeds herself with a fork and spoon, drinks out of a normal cup, can turn off and on lights, opens doors, can undress herself, communicates her needs, tells me what she wants to watch on t.v., runs, jumps, climbs, occasionally uses the “big girl potty.”
She’s growing up so fast. I was writing down the things that she loves in her journal the other day and basically broke down crying thinking about the fact that the time until she is old enough to read it will come quicker then I could ever imagine. While I was sitting there on her bedroom floor watching her pretend to feed her dolly, her whole childhood flashed before my eyes and suddenly I was looking at a 16 year old girl. It was, well, terrifying.
Enough gooey mushiness. Here are some pictures.
At two weeks old
With daddy before her birthday party
Striking a pose
Best part of a birthday
The only picture with mommy of course.
I thought this was a great idea Linda had over at MyTrendyTykes. She is having a giveaway and all you have to do to enter is give some bloggy love to one of your blog pals.
I immediately thought of Heidi at While My Boyfriend Was Sleeping. She is a fairly new bloggy pal of mine but the first time I saw her blog I fell in love with it. She has a beautiful design, the cutest dog, and she is a great storyteller. Her day job is being a reporter, which is probably why I’m a little bit jealous of her (among other reasons).
So, ya. Go check her out. You won’t be sorry.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! My sore throat that I’ve had for a week started getting a lot worse yesterday so much so that I had to take IB Profin for the pain. By the time I was ready for bed the pain was almost unbearable, I looked in my throat and sure enough I had the bumps on my tonsils. It was a very rough night to say the least and I didn’t get barely any sleep. I went to urgent care this morning and the Dr. confirmed it, I have tonsillitis. Either that or Mono. Mono? I asked the Dr “I thought adults couldn’t get mono?” Apparently now they can. He said I’ll know if I don’t feel better with the antibiotics he gave me. He also gave me Vicidin. God bless him.
Juuuussssttt grrreeeaaat. I’ve been doing so good with my diet and exercise all week and have been really looking forward to today as my cheat day. We were going to go to my favorite restaurant and I was going to order whatever I wanted without thinking about the calories. I was going to have a glass of wine. I was going to eat bread and pasta AND dessert. Dang it. I guess Valentine’s day is delayed for another week. I just REALLY hope Eva doesn’t get it. A two year old with tonsillitis? That wouldn’t be fun for either one of us.
I apologize for sounding like such a whiner right now. I can actually think of a hundred different ways this could be worse. I could not have health insurance like thousands of Americans right now. My daughter could get sick with something much worse than a throat infection (i don’t even want to think about that). I could be losing my house. My husband could be cheating on me.
See I feel better already.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentines day today!
Have you ever said a phrase your whole life without ever thinking about what it REALLY means. This will probably sound odd but it just hit me today what the phrase “in it for the long run” really means. I was driving in my car thinking about how this health journey I’ve been on for the past year is kind of like running a marathon (even though I’ve never actually run a marathon). But anyways I was thinking about how running a marathon is about endurance. It’s not about running as fast as you can it’s about pacing yourself so that you can stay in the race and actually finish your goal. And then it hit me ohhhh, that’s what “in it for the long run” means. It is an actual run and not some obscure concept that has been twisted and stretched so that now the phrase “long run” is said without any real thought of running a long distance.
That’s how my health is for me. It’s not about losing weight as fast as I can so I can fit into that pair of skinny jeans. It is about modifying my LIFE so that I can remain healthy for the REST of my life. For the LONG RUN.
It’s also how I feel about a lot of other things in my life. I’m “in it for the long run” with my marriage. I’m not about just sticking around for the good times and then bolting when things get rough or when “that loving feeling” isn’t there as strong as it used to be. I know that if I stick through the hard times things will get better, and then worse again, and then better again. And when we finish that race together it will be the best feeling in the world. Knowing that we stuck it out and that the rewards were miraculous.
I’m “in it for the long run” as a mom. Even when I don’t know what I’m doing and my daughter has pushed every single button I have, I stick it out and try to pace myself so I don’t lose it. Knowing that at the end of the day I’ll get that hug and kiss that just melts my heart. Then, when I don’t even get that I know that the next day will bring many rewards in the midst of all the trials. Ultimately even if being a mother had NO rewards (which is impossible) being able to finish the race and still be standing at the end is reward enough.
LIFE is the “long run” Sometimes it feels like I’m jogging along the beach, and sometimes it feels like I’m running uphill against the wind. But either way I’m running it and I’m never giving up.
photocredit: flickr
Since I need some accountability in order to reach my goals (and what better people then all of you?) I would like to do a little monthly update.
These were the goals that I listed on this blog a month ago.
1. Make an appointment with a personal trainer (at my gym this is free once a month) - Made the appointment and met with him on Monday. Good news, my body fat is down to 25%! Woohoo! I set a new goal to lose five pounds so I am expecting that number to get even better.
2. Drink more water – I’ll be honest, (because how can you have accountability if you’re not honest?) I ‘m not doing so good with this one. I have some good days and some not so good days. Something I’ve noticed since I moved out here to the desert is I drink A TON of water in the summer but once winter rolls around I struggle to drink anything more than 8 oz a day.
3. Take fish oil
4. No more alcohol in the house - Another one that has been broken. I’ve had a couple glasses of wine that was left over from Christmas and a few beers on Super bowl Sunday.
5. No more sweets in the house – Oops. This isn’t looking so good. I bought WAY too much candy for dd’s birthday party and now there is a bag of it just sitting in the pantry calling my name. (I am a major sugar addict)
6. Limit eating out to once a week (including breakfast and lunch) – This one I’ve done pretty good at. We try to eat out every Saturday night but if for some reason we go during the week I’ve been cooking at home all weekend.
For my seventh goal I thought I had written this one down but I guess not. It was to limit my calories to 1500 a day and my fat grams to no more than 33 a day. And also to work out 3-4 times a week. This one I’ve done pretty good at. My working out has been consistent but it is hard for me to stay withing 33 fat grams a day. After meeting with the training yesterday I am motivated once more!
Thanks for listening. How are you doing with your goals?!
How cool is this? Thanks lady java!
